So here's what's going on


As my final deadlines draw nearer the inevitable anxiety that comes with it all is creeping in; I'm talking a countdown of 5/6 weeks left with 3 hand ins that all contain a sense of fate that will determine my future. Well I say determine, I mean anything is possible if you put your mind to it and if it comes to graduating and realising I want a job far from what my degree offers, then there are means and ways around this. Internships and experiences, quick jobs here and there can all help further an idea into the ideal future you want. But what I wanna talk about, is how I'm currently feeling and whether someone out there maybe feels or did feel the same or similar.

Being an adult is hard, or entering the real adult world is hard. Having been a student for pretty much the entirety of my life, with only 12 months interning in London, I'm yet to have a real understanding on the adult world that's out there, something I'm growing ever closer to. I currently rent a student house, I pay my bills on time, buy weekly food shops and do my own laundry, but adulting is so much more than this. I mean interning in London gave me a taster into the potential life to come but that wasn't without panics, meltdowns and serious questions within myself, what I wanted and fundamentally whether I could even survive it. Well I can confidentially say I did and it's given me further confidence to face struggles head on and keep pushing. That's not saying there aren't days or weeks that I really don't want to face up to these challenges but I've made it through everyone so far.

So where am I going and what am I going to do? A question everyone loves to ask any 'almost' university graduate and one I hate answering. It's that question that everyone wants to know, but you don't want to disappoint with the 'I don't knows' or the 'I'm not sure, I'm just gonna see what happens', cause it feels that everyone should have some kind of plan. I like having structure and I like knowing what's going on with a strong sense of the direction I'm heading. But right now, I don't have that and I'm struggling. Some people thrive on the idea of having an open road ahead of them, that any opportunity is there's and they can take it with open arms, and whilst that's incredible and we live in a privileged society where that is possible, it ain't for me at times.

I could stay in Manchester which would be an absolute dream but with limited opportunities that can't compare to the likes of London it's frustrating. As incredibly diverse as London is, the variety of things to do and see, I don't have an entirely happy view looking back at my time there. Don't get me wrong, the latter part of the year I started to learn to love my time there and appreciate all the goings on. I just don't feel ready to be going back, although I don't want to stop myself or be frightened of doing things that take me out of my comfort zone. It's sometimes about taking risks but also being comfortable with gut decisions and doing what's right for you. I ain't about to turn down graduate jobs out of fear, I just won't let myself!

As the next few weeks get crazier with final deadline stress, I wanna remember to enjoy this moment because its very unlikely to happen again (unless I decide to take on a Masters). I've been studying fashion for most of my teenage life and I wanna enjoy the end of it. I have no idea what path I wanna join when I graduate and for the most of it, I'm gonna try and be okay with that. I'm going to push myself to produce work I'm proud of and who knows where that will land me. Here's to trying to embrace the undetermined adult life ahead of me. 

C x

Vintage is a part of me


Guernsey : Flea Market (similar)
Wool Skirt : Beyond Retro (similar 1 / 2 / 3)
Spot tights : Primark (similar)
Earrings : Milktooth
Bag : Vintage (similar 1 / 2)

Photographer : @mosquerasam

If you're an original follower back years ago on instagram and on here, then you may know that I'm extremely intruiged and excited by second hand shopping. I don't seem to share a lot of that side anymore, which may be due to uni priorities and living on a student budget with no part time job (the joys of a fashion degree). Since working on my dissertation which I briefly spoke about here, I've found myself being more aware of the negative effects of the high street. I can't say that whilst parading around in Primark roll necks and tights because that would be quite the contradiction. I still continue to buy high street clothingand will do far into the future, I even have a blog post coming up featuring this knit dress I've recently bought from Asos. By becoming more aware, which is probably down to my dissertation research, I have decided to try and cut down high street shopping and do my bit. 

I obviously don't want to sound preachy because I'm very last person you should come to about that. I'm in no way here to spout hate or be a negative nancy about fashion at all, I mean I've studied textiles and fashion for almost 8 years of my life!

This post is more of a discussion, or a means, to let you know that I'm bringing vintage back. 
*queue Justin Timberlake*
I mean it never went away, you always see me tagging similar items because I'm wearing old season stock or I've bought it from a charity shop, but I wanted to properly address it. With rarely buying newly released clothing and spending more time on eBay than I care to discuss, it helps make sense to introduce it here. I mean seriously some send help on my eBay addiction, my boyfriend can vouch on how bad it gets.

I love vintage shopping, going to flea markets, rummaging through charity shops and finding all the perfect gems! I wanted this blog to be a true reflection of who I am and what I get up to, so why not share more of what I love? With no real agenda to what this will entail, I hope you can bare with me as I introduce this exciting venture onto my blog (and instagram too). I mean you may have to wait until my degree comes to an end and I manage to find a fab graduate job to fill my bank account back up!

Quickly onto a brief discussion of the outfit which is pretty much all vintage / independant, and also a different look for me. I picked up the Red Guernsey knit whilst visiting a monthly flea market my family and I go to, which has become a welcome addition as I realised I was missing lots of colour and pattern from my wardrobe.

Gone are the days where I'd want to be in monochrome or muted colours, I'm longing for something with more colour, pattern and print within my closet. Now I'm not about to go crazy here, but we all know that dressing during winter and the colder months can be boring as hell. I wanna stick to my style roots but start injecting a bit of life into an otherwise dreary outfit, which is where finding this lil' red beauty has come in handy! It's such a thick knit which I wouldn't expect any less from a Guernsey, so obviously I was ecstatic!

Paring with this midi wool skirt that I've had around 12 months after finding it in Beyond Retro, it created a more dressed up outfit. This is why I felt it was a bit out of my comfort zone, I almost felt too grown up. Because of this I decided on polka dot tights rather than plain black, and these amazing earrings from Milktooth London, to make the outfit more fun and a bit more 'me'.

Fashion and styling is about having fun, trying new things out and potentially looking back in a few years time and thinking 'what the hell was going on here?!'. I mean I'd do that now but all my old posts are gone in order to start fresh, so check back in a few years instead.

C x

Lets all say 'Fuck Instagram'


Photography : Sam Mosquera

Coat : Charity Shop
Roll Neck : Muji
501 Levis : Vintage
70's Converse : Offspring
Earrings : Milktooth
Bag : Vintage
(alternatives linked below)

I feel like I haven't wrote blog posts consistently in so long that I almost don't know where you're meant to start with them. Hi, hello, im back, here's another post of my ramblings? See, it's weird right? It's funny because this coincidentally lead me to write another post about consistancy, but more on that another time. I'm here to share some thoughts on Instagram, well more about how we document our lives on social media and how much it's changing.

Recently my boyfriend and I have been discussing the wonderful yet horrible app that is Instagram and how much it's impacted both of our lives. Everyone and their mum's are talking about their love / hate relationship with it. I mean it is such an incredible tool to share day to day activities, follow your fave celebs and see what's going in the world, I even met Sam on there! But it sometimes leads to getting so caught up in what's 'perfect' and whether certain photos will actually fit in with your feed, that it's easy to loose sight in what the app was initially made for.

Things change and develop so it's obvious that Instagram has gotten bigger and bigger over the past few years. I would say bigger and better here but we all know we're fighting a losing battle with the creaters of the app tbh. What's bothering me is that when I look back and pretty much stalk my own profile, is realising how much I've changed. I was having a huge Instagram clear out, archiving images and unfollowing people that didn't bring joy to my feed; I would definitely recommend because it makes scrolling so much nicer, at the end of the day it's your account - you ain't obliged to follow anyone that doesn't inspire, lift you or bring you any joy. Anyway, what I noticed is how much my photography and personal style has changed through out the years of being part of instagram.

From living in Cardiff in 2014, Manchester 2015, moving to London in 2016 for my placement year, leading right back to Manchester, I could see that being younger and more care free, the days before blogging and instagram were as big as they are now, I was uploading what I wanted, when I wanted. I couldn't give two fucks about the perfect posting times, I was living in the moment and uploading on the go (times before drafts, scary I know). But having this detox and looking into my recent uploads made me realise that I hated what I was I sharing. I'd stopped posting photos of my uni work, my drawings, my try on session in changing rooms, what I had at costa that one time; everything has to look perfect, reflecting your style and philosophy. I got caught into the need for everything to look consistent and it turns out it just wasn't working for me.

The latest post on this blog (read here) has given an insight into the direction of this blog, social media as well as my personal goals. I wanna go back to my old ways, a bit more care- free and laid back. I wanna stay creative and share this with you guys.  At the end of the day I know it's only a social media app, it's a stupid first world problem, but I needed to get it off my chest and talk about it.

I mean Instagram fucks us over with the algorithm as it is, so why not just post what you want anyway? 

C x

Self identity and Who I want to be


Jacket : Charity
Roll neck : Primark
501 Levis : Pop Boutique
Church Boots : Dr Martens
Beret : Pop Boutique 

Photography : Sam Mosquera

In this post I kind of wanted to talk about my dissertation / research topic. I’m not going to bore you with the 8,000 words my dissertation requires so don’t worry, but it’s a topic I do find interesting and wanted to discuss some of my thoughts on this lil space of mine. I also think it works quite nicely as the first major post of the year (if I do say so myself).

Through social media (such as instagram, twitter and the blogging world), it’s no shock that we are all in some way influenced by what each other is getting up to. We are influenced by what others wear, where they go to eat and where they do their weekly shopping -  but my question is 'how does this then impact our own personal identity and real life choices?'.  Now I’m not writing this post to crack the answer and solve all identity crises but more to share my thoughts on it.
To put it in context, I joined the blogging world years ago after seeing two Danish sisters start their own blog sharing what they wore on the weekends and outside of what they wore to school. I thought it was one the most inspirational and greatest ideas ever, giving me that sense of, ‘This is what I want to do too'. Even as a little girl I would be drawing clothes that would be for make-believe shops I had invented and imagined the latest celebs wearing them to music award events. So it’s no surprise I wanted to join the world of blogging as well as working my way to a fashion design degree.

After ‘blogging’ on and off for so long and being the age I am, I do recognise being heavily influenced by what are others are doing and I’m starting to make sense of why I want to carry on. Finding a sense of personal identity in the way we dress has become so important in portraying an ideal image of who you are on the internet. But what if I don’t want that? I’ve realized that I’m not gonna have my style figured out for a long time and that’s okay, I’m here to document it and laugh at myself along the way. After Chloe’s post about who she wants to be on the internet it spoke true to me that, yeah I’m not the next big star, but I’m doing this for me. I like writing (even if its shite half the time) and I like styling, taking photos and sharing my amazing vintage purchases, so that’s why I’m here.

I follow so many incredible females (and the occasional male) and to be honest, I am happy to be influenced by them. To make me question my own fashion choices; 'Would I really like that if I hadn't seen it on her first' or 'Did I just need to see someone else styling it in a new and funky way that screams ‘oh my god yas this is what I needed’'. The point is, it's okay not to like everything you see other people doing, it’s okay to have an opinion, to help inform your own decisions on what you do like, and don't like. It's okay to be and do what you want to do. 

Catch me in a couple of weeks when I’m moaning about some quarter life crisis I seem to be continuously going through.

C x

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